i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize