Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
