Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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