i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
