Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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