i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
