You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
