I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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