If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
