well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
