Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
