She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize