You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
