conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
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