He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
