okay pat passed out under dana's car
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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