I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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