Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
