I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
