He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
