why didn't you poke me back
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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