i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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