i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
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