and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
