i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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