Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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