That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
