it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
