is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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