I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
