It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
this hospital has no fireball
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
