piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
