Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I love you.
Bad choice
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
