I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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