Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
