Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just want nice things and good sex
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
