i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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