Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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