I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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