He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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