okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
