i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
