you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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