"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
