2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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