Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
