butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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