i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
