There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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