im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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