its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
