Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
