I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize