just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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