Just mADE A PArabola og urine
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
