Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
