I will die if light touches me.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
