I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
porn star boner night. come get it.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
