I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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